Meadowbrook Press

Excerpt

Talking Back

When backtalk (sarcasm, sassy retorts, and unkind remarks) spews forth from your preschooler's previously angelic mouth, you become painfully aware of her ability to mimic words (good and bad) and control her world with them. Like other forms of language, backtalk can only be learned by exposure to it. So limit your child's opportunities to hear unpleasant words. Monitor television viewing, your own language, and that of friends and family.

Talk to your child the way you want her to talk to you.

Teach your child how to use language you want to hear. Say "Thank you," "Please," "I'm sorry," and other polite phrases. Have your child practice using the words you've modeled. Remember that preschoolers are the world's greatest imitators.

Decide what constitutes backtalk.

In order to react fairly to your child's increasingly diversified verbal behavior, you need to determine whether your child is talking back or doing something else. For example, sarcasm, name-calling, shouting answers, and defiant refusals are backtalk. Simple refusals like "I don't want to" are whining. Questions like "Do I have to?" are expressions of opinion. Make sure your child understands what you mean by backtalk.

Monitor friends, media, and your own speech.

Limit your child's exposure to backtalk by keeping tabs on what words slip through your lips. Also monitor friends, peers, family members, and television characters. What goes in preschoolers' ears comes out preschoolers' mouths.

Reviews

"Discipline without Shouting or Spanking is back with treasured advice, a wealth of new information, and explicit instructions to help parents rear their children with love and limits."
--Marguerite Kelly, syndicated columnist and coauthor of The Mother's Almanac

"This practical and effective guide offers tried-and-true strategies for promoting responsible behavior and a spirit of cooperation. If you've ever raised your voice or your hand in frustration, this book will help you learn to calmly and confidently solve your child's discipline problems while strengthening your family relationships. The advice is so sensible and effective that you'll find yourself wondering, 'Why didn't I think of that?'"
--Marianne Neifert, M.D. ("Dr. Mom"), author of Dr. Mom: A Guide to Baby and Child Care and Dr. Mom's Prescription for Preschoolers